This is a collection of chalkboard punishments related to The Silmarillion. Inspired by Sarah and Rei-hime’s hilarious Lord of The Rings Chalkboard.

Contributions are highly welcomed. Please add them as a comment below!

 

 

1) I will not skip reading the Ainulindalë.

2) I will also obediently read the accompanying Akallabêth, and the passage that follows.

3) I will not mock Fëanor’s choice of ornament for helms.

4) I will not feed the Silmarils to Huan.

5) I will not speculate the reason(s) behind Maedhros’ marital status.

6) Nerdanel did not refuse to go to Formenos because Fëanor criticised her cooking.

7) Nor because she wanted to attend the knitting club with Indis.

8) Fëanor does not call Fingolfin “you little sod”.

9) Except in his mind.

10) Maglor did not choose to guard Maglor’s gap because he was suicidal.

11) Maedhro’s greatest skill was something more relevant than babysitting.

12) I will not put pine cones on Finwë’s chair.

13) Nor will I put a fart bag.

14) And I will not laugh when someone hides a fart bag under Manwë’s seat cushion and Manwë does not realise. — Belle

15) “Eöl” is not pronounced as “eeyore”. — Belle, 25/10/08

16) I will not refer to The Silmarillion as The Encyclopedia of Abnormal Elven Psychology. — Rei, 23/11/08

17) Maglor does not sing Baroque cantatas. (Though it would be wonderful if he does!) — Belle, 3/12/08

18) Glorfindel is not otherwise known as “Antonio” (cf. Atanóno). — Belle, 8/12/08

19) I will not ask Maedhros to perform a striptease, though Celegorm probably would not mind to do so, and he is no less skilled. *cough* — Belle, 22/1/09

20) It was not because Amras heard Morgoth singing karaoke that he was unable to sleep on the shore of Lammoth. — Belle, 20/2/09

21) I will not design an otome game featuring the Fëanorians. — Belle, 22/2/09

22) Maedhros did not call Melkor’s hammer a “compensation”, and that was not the reason why he got dangled upon Thangorodrim. — Belle, 23/4/09

23) The reason why Fëanor insisted on spelling “s” as “th” was not because he had a lisp. — Belle 9/2/10

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Disclaimer: The Silmarillion and its characters are the property of J.R.R. Tolkien. This list is purely for fun and no profit is being made.